Why your partner isn’t a mind reader — and neither are you.
A catcher can flash a few fingers and the pitcher knows exactly what pitch is being called. A quarterback can change a play with a word, a gesture, or a look.
But that only works because everybody learned the playbook first.
In relationships, we often skip that part.
We assume:
He should know what that look means.
She knows when I get quiet I need space.
If I walk away, obviously I’m trying not to make it worse.
When I sigh like that, how can you not know I’m hurt?
And the other person may genuinely be thinking:
I have absolutely no idea what signal you’re throwing at me.
That gets you beautifully into the larger teaching:
Nonverbal communication is still communication — but it isn’t automatically shared communication.
A signal only works reliably when both people understand what it means.
And there’s your connection to Tone, Timing & Trust™ too. The same gesture can mean give me a minute, leave me alone, I’m furious, I’m hurt, or I’m done depending on the relationship and the moment.
So perhaps one of the real relationship questions becomes:
Have we ever actually talked about what our signals mean?
